My whole family assumes I’m straight and it’s like if I say anything like “wow that girl is so pretty” they’re like “you’re pretty too don’t compare yourself’ like no mom the only thing I’m comparing is the width between her legs and how well I could fit.
when u know u mama mad at u but u gotta walk past her to get food from the kitchen
Holy. Crap. I just found an email argument between me and some random internet person about evolution and creationism. Apparently I thought this was important enough to print out and save for TWENTY YEARS!!!
Cannot tell you how many times I’ve been on the phone with Hank and it’s clear he isn’t listening and then I say you’re not listening and then he says, “Hold on someone on the Internet is wrong about something.”